Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
