In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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