I accidentally burped into my bong.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
