Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
