do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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