OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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