jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize