If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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