yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
