i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
this boner is exhausting
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Randomize
