My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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