I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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