Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
