ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
