I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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