I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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