So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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