i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize