she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize