He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
