Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
