i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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