K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
