the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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