how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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