His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
