I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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