Your mouth is God's brothel.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
