He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
that may or may not have been my penis.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
