pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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