You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
