GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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