isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
