Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
