He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
