im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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