I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
