I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
