Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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