My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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