I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
