Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
