She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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