I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
