FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
