I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
