plz talk dirty to me
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just invented taco cereal.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
