just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
