Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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