it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
