I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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