do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
