fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
