Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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