It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
