When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
