yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
