Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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