Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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