Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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