You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
