Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
