He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
