ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
