Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
That's when you crack a 10am beer
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
