Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
