so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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