you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
