a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
