ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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