Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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