You tried to poop in the sink last night.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
