what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
